The Definitive Top 50 Janet songs – Part I

Sigh. This has to be the most impossible task in the world. Take one’s favorite artist, with an apples-and-oranges catalog spanning four decades, and pick the “favorite fruit,” as Janet might say.

I was inspired by the list over at Pop! Blerd, where some sadistic fan made his impossible choices. “Surely I can make a better list than some straight dude on some generic music blog,” I said. (No offense, straight dude.) Now that my list is complete, I’m not sure I did. Those 50 spots get eaten up quickly.

I was all like, “You can’t just pick one song from Discipline!” while critiquing his list. I picked one song from Discipline. There were several others from that admittedly less-accomplished record in line for my list, but they just didn’t make the cut. This is hard.

I understand that my intro is not supposed to make you feel depressed. So, on the bright side, it must be noted that Janet is such a unique combination of charisma, vision, talent, and diligence that she doesn’t make bad songs, just less outstanding ones. So please forgive me for my omissions,  for my weakness for heavy production and silky ballads, and any other skews you see in the below list.

And “Enjoy.”

50. “Any Time, Any Place” (janet. 1993-94)

When the bottom of the list contains one of the most successful R&B slow jams of the past generation, you know you are working with a deep catalog. You will actually find quite a few big hits hanging out here at the bottom, if for no other reason than I couldn’t imagine having a list without them.

This was Janet’s first foray into hyper-steamy sex jams, and it fairly glistens with desire. The album version unfolds at a gauzy, synth-soaked gait across seven minutes at the very end of the janet. album. Janet’s quivering croon and Jimmy Jam’s shooting-star synth effects create an unmatched soundscape of erotic tension.

49. “Miss You Much” (Rhythm Nation, 1989)

So, in the semi-cellar position on this list, we have the most successful pop song of 1989. “Miss You Much” is an irresistible slab of smiling funk. The synth drone motif that carries across Rhythm Nation is most clearly in evidence here, sounding like somebody had to ride the brakes to keep this song from rollicking into some other dimension. Janet smiles right alongside the funk, creating the first complete fusion of Hard-Edged Janet (the one who knocked our socks off on “Control”) and Sweet Janet (a la “When I Think of You”). She also plays it both ways in the lyrics: “Not to say that I’m in love with you/ But who’s to say that I’m not,” giving as little as possible away before conceding that she’s crushing REAL hard.

48. “I Get Lonely” (The Velvet Rope, 1997-98)

If what they captured on record was anything like the stripped-down version Janet performed on Rosie O’Donnell’s show, this would be several spots higher. I think I’ve always deducted a few points for this song because this was the first single on TVR where I felt Janet concede a bit artistically. First, she did a predictable, unnecessary, and somewhat flat remix with Blackstreet. Second, she enlisted Paul Hunter to direct the video, using the multiple sets and wardrobe changes that were fashionable at that time in R&B videos.

There is no denying that the song itself, though, is a gorgeous, soulful riff on the frequent theme of missing someone (see #49). The harmonies are unreal; I recall gushing to a skeptical co-worker of mine when the album first came out that she sounded like En Vogue all by herself. That was kinda true.

47. “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” (Control, 1986)

Look, let’s just get this out of the way: I’m tough on Control. You won’t be seeing a lot of songs on my chart from her breakthrough album. This may be partly in defiance to the Pop! Blerd list, where five of the top ten spots were taken by tracks from this nine-song album, recorded when Janet was 19 years old.

And you won’t find any songs from her first two albums on my list.

My take on this is that Janet is an artist who was just beginning to scratch the surface of her potential when she recorded Control. Rhythm Nation was the record where she truly adopted the fearless genre-smashing and soul-baring musical persona that has fed her longevity and relevance. I love Control, but I love what Janet has become since then even more.

And that’s how I get away with placing her first top ten single, with its sinewy, infectious bass line and unfettered sneer and sarcasm, way down here at number 47.

46. “Go Deep” (The Velvet Rope, 1997)

This was my favorite song on TVR upon first listen. This makes sense—it’s the catchiest, most accessible track on the record, and I was positive it was destined for greatness.

I was wrong. It was only a modest success. “I Get Lonely,” the prior single, had its success sprawled out over the better part of a year and I think the follow-up suffered from this break in momentum. Nevertheless, it’s a worthy successor to “Escapade” in the let’s-go-out-and-party category of Janet’s oeuvre. The percussion and bass are almost comically funky, and Janet is obviously smiling her big Janet-smile the whole time she’s singing. Lots of fun.

45. “You Need Me” (B-side, “Miss You Much,” 1989)

I was blown away by the lyrical content of this song upon first listen when the cassingle (yes, that’s really what they were called) was released. In a rare, unflinchingly autobiographical glimpse of her family life, Janet chastises her father for being distant and cold. The industrial bop eerily underscores her accusations. Chills ensue.

Wait… can I redo this list and rank this song higher?

44. “Strawberry Bounce” (Damita Jo, 2004)

Many may consider this as a throwaway album track, but there is a lot going on here. As with the more well-known “All Nite (Don’t Stop),” Janet and producers are throwing a lot of almost-discordant rhythms at us and forcing us to reconcile them into a groove. It’s not quite reggae, it’s not quite house music, and it’s not quite R&B. What it is: fantastic, and Janet’s nascent sexy alter ego Strawberry gives a suitably flirty vocal performance. If you have always passed over this one on the album, look up Janet’s performance of the song on Saturday Night Live—the choreography helps unlock the magic in the song.

43. “State of the World” (Rhythm Nation, 1989-91)

I was all about the industrial funk Wall of Sound Jam & Lewis created on Rhythm Nation. The sound was so radical that it was destined to sound a bit dated, but dated or nah, it still packs a wallop. “State of the World” is an intense rollercoaster ride into the personal hells of the disadvantaged. Janet is imagining these situations as vividly as possible, working herself into a resolve to make the world a better place. It’s like a reverse pep-talk. And the looped barking-dog percussion kills. This was well before Timbaland made inventive sampling his trademark.

42. “R&B Junkie” (Damita Jo, 2004)

Damita Jo was a woefully underrated album. It is represented on this list equitably with Janet’s other blockbusters, just as if it had performed the way it should have. Another high point was this smooth re-imagining of Cheryl Lynn’s “I’m in Love.” After teasing us with nods to 70s classics through subtle samples for over a decade, Janet finally said to hell with it, and just bit a big chunk off of this disco classic without apology. And it was groovy.

41. “Black Eagle” (Unbreakable, 2015)

With this song, Janet tackles two things she had never attempted before in her 30-plus years of making music. The first is mythology. Being Michael’s sister, she was already uncomfortably close to a mythical being in process, and MJ’s music was itself full of archetypes that he rode into huge statements: Dirty Diana, Billie Jean, The Man in the Mirror, the unspoken subject of “Will You Be There,” and so on.

With Michael fully transcended into mythical status by his passing, and Janet newly fearless to reference his work and his life on Unbreakable, she creates the Black Eagle, devoting the first verse of the song to summarizing her newly christened familiar and what it means to her.

Then, in the second act of the song, she does something quite alarming. Janet, she who choreographs her live show within an inch of its life and has the discipline of a Zen master in the studio, appears to be free-associating and jamming. Wait, is this a Phish album or something?

And it suits her. I’ve been saying for 20 years that Janet needs to transition to a jazzy, laid-back vibe as the next act of her career. Of course we’ve seen glimpses before, but this is the loosest vocal arrangement yet.